[1] {:purpose} I am tired of writing blogs.
* My life has little that is interesting on a day to day basis.
* I have extremely consistent emotions on my world and this rarely updated list comforts me and surprises me each time I re-read it.
* I wrote the first rendition of this list 8 years ago! [2014]
[2] {:consistency} Instead, I will create a list of fifty things about myself, to:
* Establish what I am like
* So you can't claim I didn't prepare you.
[3] {:change} I am concerned with science and technology that is logical, responsible, and implementable.
* As I write this from Guatemala, I'm starting to live this out! [2010]
* After working a series of traditional engineering jobs and facing the reality of work and the world, I still believe I can implement these plans but the tools and the approaches are becoming more real. [2014]
[4] {:discussion} I used to be more philosophical than I am.
* I miss having all-night conversations. I'm quite willing to drop anything else I'm doing, and waste the entire night on aim or in person.
[5] {:roots} My mother and father are government employees in suburban northern California.
* We recently moved from my childhood home (age 4 until 17) in Victorville, CA (exurban southern California.
* My parents and their chosen line of work had a deep effect, I did not pursue private work until recently. I had preconceived notions on what was possible for me professionally.
* One could call me a "desert person", and get away with the stereotype.
* My sister is tougher than nails and I hope you don't get in her way.
* Early on, I claimed, "The current plan is to return to southern california after my doctorate is complete". I need to update this more often... [2010]
* What is really home? is it where those people are? I used to think home meant all those experiences that lead up to you being who you are, but now I know, home is those people that you care about, and the sneaking suspicion that there's very few people you care about.
[6] {:music} I am a musician.
* I played in two bands, "Cuddlefish" in Riverside, and "Porpoise Christi" in Davis. With members from both groups I worked on electronic dance music and played for many years in Northern California. [2012]
* I used to play (piano) in church long ago, and it shapes my attitude around music and performance. I think background music is something haunting and thrilling at the same time.
[7] {:friendship} Friendship has been tricky for me over the years.
* Most of my closest friends are former lovers and that has changed because I will likely have no more. [2014]
[8] {:politics} I, up until recently, would apologize for being extremely liberal.
* I am registered Green Party
* I vote for whatever democrat I hope won't lose.
* I believe, and operate in life on a socialist system (loose, american socialism)
* I behaved consistently to this for a long time.
* Most of my friends are not liberal or weren't liberal until later in life. I don't let it be an issue. It's just another piece of fabric on the jacket we wear when we are in a common world.
* I was involved in the ASUCR senate. Before this line used to say something optimistic. Now I realize politics is a much more complicated game. [2008]
[9] {:nerd-child} I grew up very nerdy and this was shaping for me early on.
* College and graduate school and the changing dynamic makes this post very obsolete.
* In reality, I think I was part of the growing norms change to celebrate nerdy behavior. [2012]
[10] {:activism} I'm want to feel I am a social activist.
* I was an armchair thinker for many years.
* It's a difficult life to want to lead, especially when you are worried about your salaries and homeownership and all the "issues" of the first world.
* I'm still invariably focused on how little it can accomplish at times.
* I think bringing a scientific approach can really cause real change, and do it efficiently.
* I'm really starting to think I could spend the rest of my life being an active environmentalist. wish me luck.
* I was really more of a macktavist than a activist for many years.
* Having now worked in petroleum, renewable energy, and energy efficiency, I can say that the split incentive problem is probably the greatest challenge facing mankind. I am excited to possibly work in the shared economy in the future, and work on breaking this incentive problem down. [2014]
[11] {:school} I hold two engineering [environmental, agricultural] degrees.
* I used to be very excited about traditional education and the options it would give me. [2008]
* I am fascinated with energy and have to date held three jobs in the energy sector.
* I have worked as a petroleum engineer for the state of California [2010]
* I have worked as an Energy Commission deputy aide (policy meetings at the Capitol)
* I have worked and am working as a renewable energy engineer in the bay area currently.
* I don't truly believe education has become a ponzi scheme for the wealthy... but it sure looks like it, right?
* I am exploring computer coding and am interested in working as a software developer.
[12] {:race} I am 5'9" and interracial. Ask me and I'll tell you what races.
* I was born in the Kuala Lumpur General Hospital in 1986.
* Malaysia is a well conquered place. My family roots are quite a bit more british then people expect. However, my mom has a portuguese last name. *shrugs*
* We are all naturalized now, and thus have lost most aspects of culture, unless of course, you are me if something is spicy or not. I promise you, unless, it's habenero, it won't be spicy to me. I love Malaysia and I consider it a home and love to visit and be with my family.
[13] {:dreams} My biggest dream would involve a Engineering Firm dedicated to advancing the situation of third world nations to be near the first world's.
Project Ideas:
* Building power (hydro-electric) plants on the banks of the world's most volumous rivers, specifically the Congo and the Amazon. If you've read "King Leopold's Ghost", you know that 1/6 of the world's Hydroelectric Potential resides in the Congo. That being said, the Amazon's mouth discharge is 180,000 m^3/s, easily 4.5 the congo's value. Both these rivers could single handedly turn Zaire and Brazil into firstworld nations, or if nothing else, contintental energy ambassadors.
* Continuing the work of Norman Borlaug, i.e. genetically altering and breeding plants to increase efficiency, and also to engineer characteristics to help certain populations. The big example allready out there is Golden Rice, rice containing carrots genes to produce Vitamin A, to help africa's deficient population restore their eyesight. The biggest obstacle involves politics (as they always do) Norman's work with wheat and rice in Mexico, India, Pakistan, and throughout Asia is single-handedly responsible for their population boom and beginnings to enter the technological era. (quotable on Norman Borlaug: "He's fed a million people, and you don't know his name") His funding, which is derived from the Ford Center, and the Rockfeller foundation, discontinued his funding once they saw what happened to India, and when he revealed his intentions for Africa. Could you imagine? What if all of Africa started being as prosporous as India? There's no way Rockfeller would allow that... (this is the how of solving world hunger... why can't africa have it's own Green Revolution?)
* Working on projects such as the Grainger Challenge Prize for Sustainability, i.e. problems like Bandledesh's arsenic situation.
* Pushing for fully recycled water, and educating people who think it's gross. (or just whacking them on the head with sticks). People like the City of San Diego.
* I think having grand dreams is really important. Too many people I know just want to have children and be a good family, and those goals are difficult and admirable, and I can't present a logic reason to approach life as more, but I will.
* Solar Panels and Wind Mills should cover the sahara desert. Tell me what else we are doing with that land? Tell what else can you do with that land? Have any of you guys ever read the book Dune? We should set up windtraps and harvest for spice melange... lol...
* Cars should be running on vegetable oil and batteries by now. I'm pissed.
* What a powerful post. I doubt I'll get to all of this, but should get to some of it!
* Sometimes it's hard to read this post as a grownup and know I have failed, but it also lets me know there's still a fire in there somewhere [2014]
[14] {:velodrama} I am an avid bike rider.
* I am fascinated transportation and I am brimming with ideas for .
* I have sold bikes in Davis for many years.
* I take pride in the personal impact I've had in taking junk and making it work for other people
*I recently stopped selling bicycles and how I focus on helping others repair their bikes through nonprofits like the Davis Bike Church/Collective, and now Spokeland.
* There's nothing cooler than riding a bicycle tour. Supercool.
* I own seven bicycles and a tandem (I have had up to as many as 50 when I sold bikes). The seven bikes I own are named after exgirlfriends.
[15] {:mass_transport} I used to own a bus.
* I have always loved transportation and I love facilitating moving others around.
* I used this bus for parties, for Domes retreats, and it was available for hire.
* This pile of junk was tremendously expensive and really impractical.
* This bus has hosted some of the craziest dance parties ever.
* This bus was awesome. It's done things and it's allowed me to do things that have made it all worth it.
[16] {:leadership} At UCR I was a coach of intramural soccer.
* From this experience and other social experiences, people have let me know that they believe I can manage people. I disagree.
[17] {:song} I used to love working in the lab late at night when no one is around so I can sing outloud.
[18] {:relationships} They are not something I'm good at.
* In the last 7 years, (this referred to 1999-2006) I've committed long term to two women. I have had a few relationships, and many things I'd classify somewhat below a relationship, but I'm not going to talk about them here, and rarely do anymore. I think I used to be more in control of my emotions, and I would never really get attached. Now, I'm a bit wary of it, since I have seen it both ways, not caring and caring too much. I operate on geological time when it comes to matters of the heart.
* I have been in a relationship with Amy Yoshitsu for 6 years and they've been increasingly rewarding and awesome years. She withstood my geologic apathy.
[19] {:genre} I enjoy piano ballads and acoustic guitar picking.
* Sue me. I know that when Eamon tells me to strum instead of pick and play twice as fast, the song is way better. I'm glad he does that. I enjoy metal drumming behind these sets.
[20] {:vegetarism}I am a vegetarian.
* There's no religious reason; There's not much of a social reason. I like vegetables, I don't really like meat. Dairy products are something I like, and I know that the US government produces an excess amount of, so I eat them. After working on dairy farms, milk is disgusting to me. I eat it when other people make it and it's inconvenient not to.
* This policy is now 10 years old. If anything, longevity is the biggest factor for keeping it going. It had/has alot to do with the food production pyramid. I love me... deal with it. If anything, I'm getting more vegatarian (vegan) as time goes on.
* After hanging out with 20 vegetarians in Santa Cruz for a whole weekend... well, I'm still a vegetarian, but it was a total trip. (haha, this post)
* Lately I've been getting lamb cravings though... I blame this random love for muslim food. (what is going on here? lol at 2011 from 2014)
[21] {:clairvoyance}I have been emo and hipster before they were things.
[22] {:superficial/materialistic}I really hate superficiality - mostly my own.
* I have never shopped anywhere other than a thrift store since 1999.
* I will criticize you if you spend more then 5 minutes preparing to see me. You know who you are.
* Everyone knows I'm super hippy dippy and don't buy things, but I make this point that I'm just like the deeply superficial and materialistic core of southern california. I love flashy bikes and being seen on them, I used to love being seen at places at night with people, I enjoy being able to offer help. This is all superficiality and comes from growing up plain. I think.
[23] {:social} I live a social existence, defined by a balance of work, and lots of friends/social situations.
* This post completely said the opposite a year ago. This is truer to who I am though. I started this blog thing during a chaotic mood state for me.
[24] {:nosy} I'm the kind of person who will be nosy if you are nosy with me.
*My phone bill tells me I call people alot. You know who you are. You are people I care about. I don't talk to anyone for more then 3 minutes, unless they are important to me.
* I don't call people as much as I used too! I need to restart this!
[25] {:lost_friendship} I have good friends. I've lost good friends along the way. Life is like this.
* I am not afraid to call you out. I don't care if it costs us our friendship. I'd rather have great friends. What's crazy, is ten years in, that with the exception of former lovers, I've really been good with burying hatchets.
[26] {:locavore} Provincial thinking is not always a bad thing.
* I know that statement brings to mind ideas about hick farms and such. What I'm saying is... there's alot to be said about going to back to the area you are from an building it up. [IT'S TOO IRONIC I WROTE THIS YEARS BEFORE WORKING ON HICK FARMS]
* Two of my closest friends are provincial thinkers. They are two people I highly respect. Despite distance, and four years in college in a town an hour away, I've maintained probably a more real friendship with those two than any of my "close" high school friends or my college friends. now let's see how close I keep this 6 hours away... still good!
* Provincial thinking is key to making the world a better place. People don't make the world a better place most of the time. People have W stickers or put "god bless america" on their cars, but they don't do anything to make america better. Make the place better!
[27] {:sudoriparous} During the summer I sweat alot.
* Blame the genes. While we are at it:
* Blame the mom genes for making me so short.
* Blame the dad genes for the uneven facial hair.
* Early on in this blog project, I had little criticism for my parents. They've dealt with their child growing old with great difficulty. It's something to remember 20 years from now when I have this problem.
[28] {:family}I have a large extended family, and I travel home to visit them approximately every 2-4 years.
* There are about 20 aunts/uncles, 30-40 cousins, and two grandmothers. I am the american son, so I'm allowed to say anything I want, and am generally treated as a king. Occasionally we have visitors stateside.
* I'm more comfortable with people that have large extended families and labor to keep those relationships together. It's hard in todays world, and has a value that I think few of us take seriously. I will work on this!! 2014* version.
[29] {:conservatism} Deep dark secret #1: I had a Bush/Cheney Sticker in 2000.
* Kids in high school are idiots [2006]
* I'm not even going to attempt to explain this. I was an idiot. [2010]
* Am a total idiot [2014]
[30] {:love} I was loved as a child
* I have good parents and they supported me through things, and they've given me a good model for success, which I follow sometimes and I don't others.
* My dad chided me in 2000 when I had the Bush Cheney sticker. He didn't quite use the word "oppressor" but he might as well have. He really impressed me because obviously he's better served voting for the conservatives then not, but he's thinking about other people.
* My mom is a fairly reasonable cat, except when it comes to religion. Even then, she's wise enough to realize I'll make the right decisions. Both of them never require me to do anything that I don't want.
* This is hard to read as time goes on. Naubahar knows this, some parents change as they get older and can only see things from their point of view. I don't begrudge but at some point you have to either satisfy yourself or their outdated hopes. [2014]
[31] {:guilt} I hate anything and everything about who I was.
* I hate how I am still polite and nice to people that don't deserve my courtesy.
* I know who am I now is not better, and quite frankly could be worse, but it's what I want.
* These posts must reference prior relationships, which ended badly because I struggled with honesty and fidelity. I'm still very sorry.
[32] {:trust} I'm still deciding how I feel about you. Trust me, that's a good thing.
[33] {:opinions} We go through the emotions of relationships much too young.
* Chong's got a point with american culture, and I hate to validate him: The culture pervades all of this, from the required valentines day celebrations, through proms and what not.
* I've spent two years in a long relationship. It's really humbling, the afterwards of it. I don't want to make the same mistakes. [2006]
* I've had one disaster of a relationship since then, and um... too many other flirtations I probably should have avoided. [2008]
* Am I talking about this from a third person point of view? Lol...
34.0 {:objectivism} I detest Objectivism.
* It's wierd because the man I will call my best friend if I'm asked is a pure objectivist. I should mention that I have nothing but respect for my objectivist friend. It's more the lifestyle he respects that I don't like. The life he leads is basically my own...
[35] {:goals} These are the things I said I would like to do with the rest of my life in 2006
*City Manager/ Mayor (Probably not, but maybe?)
*Big business experience is the next thing on the list
*Startup [2014]
[36] {:hate} I hate very few things.
* I think this has to say, I hate nothing, nothing at all. [2014]
[37] {:partner} My idea of a dream woman is a blank canvas.
* I have no preferences based on appearance- my dating record expresses this.
* I do have preferences based on personal beliefs. [oh yeah - 2014]
* I know that sounds wierd, but sometimes I mistrust pure sexual attraction. As t approaches infinity, everything becomes about conversation and it's hard to keep that going.
* I have trended towards activists, scientists, teachers, or doctors/nurses.
* I like my women like I like my coffee...
* you can love and work out with lots of people.
[38] {:beliefs} I despise disney, walmart, and most corporations that are nearing the ability to achieve monopoly.
* I'm not a big fan of the music industry, or any real industry, save the kind that produces truly necessary things, like energy and water.
* Energy is a right in my mind.
[39] {:film} We used to film movies in our backyard. We would be fighting with sticks as we were ninjas. No one ever got hurt. If they ever show you the video, I'm usually at the heart of the funniest part of each movie. There are honestly some scenes where I've heard that after I left the party, they would rewind and watch something I did or said over and over again. It's a wierd kind of respect my friends had for me. Actually, they probably think I'm a moron.
[40] {:reconnection} I'm the kind of person that wants to keep people together.
* I realize that entropy exists, but nostalgia overpowers me alot of times.
* This really rings true as I get older, I love seeing my old friends.
[41] {:truth} I love this list of 50 things. I sometimes suspend and review it and I can't change anything.
[42] {:planning} I don't like planning certain parts of my life.
[43] {:hair} I like hair.
* For someone that has short hair for 20 or so years in my 28 year life, "cut your hair" has been the phrase I've probably heard most. It's strange to me that I can't remember the amount of times I've felt the need to tell someone that they need to change. Why do people think that they can do that, and do it so often? [2012]
[44] {:maturity}I think i've developed enough maturity to move on from a bad situation.
* If you know me and think this is not true,,, recall what I consider good and bad.
* I'm afraid of caring deeply about someone that aren't my family
* I'm callous and rude because it keeps me safe.
* I'm annoyed when I treat a woman differently. It happens extremely infrequently.
* The myth of male power is real, as we head up the pillars of society (in any field that isn't engineering) we will be surrounded by women. I sometimes think that's why I'm an engineer: so I can be in a position to boss around men. I think that if I was just in an office with women, inexplicably, I'd have no control. I can't wait for engineering to change.
* I hate engineering [2014]
* I think this whole post is very curious, with regards to my family problems. My own family has my safe issues with trust and change. [2014]
[45] {:fleet} My seven bicycles are named after my former partners or relationships I deemed important and whom I'm no longer close.
* My travel bike, a steel Miyata 912 retrofitted with S&S couplers is named after "Xing".
* My touring bike, a burgundy Miyata 610 with an xtraCycle is named after "Shelly".
* My commuting bike, a white Miyata 414 fitted with a gazellebar is named after "Jessica".
* My commuter backup, a bright red Miyata 712 kept classic is named after "Samantha".
* My frame-in-progress, a yellow Miyata 512 was a fixie is named after "Cynthia".
* My frame-in-progress, a teal Miyata 310 may take the xtraCycle is named after "Xiaoyan".
* My status bike, a titanium Team Miyata, has no name.
* Amy and I have a tandem which we use since Amy prefers not to ride a bicycle.
[46] {:basketball}I love the sport of basketball. There was a time in high school where I always completed all my work before I worked my two after school jobs, and then would make it home, @ night in the spring/summer, and there'd always be hours of daylight. I would go outside and play basketball by myself until it was dark, dunking on the 9 foot rim, and shooting from across the street over cars. I never got good, and I still play, mainly because I know it's one thing I can never be really good at. I don't often feel that way about something... (though I am starting to feel I've reached my musical peak) and I love how I'll always be imperfect.
[47] {:biography} I hate and love reading books that resemble my life.
* In particular, "Native Speaker" and "The Namesake" bug the hell out of me, and I love them to death. Don't read them, or else I'd have to relenquish perceived personal intellectual holding over those novels.
[48] {:mother} I've long been accused of being a mother's boy. I love my mother. They say you can tell alot about how a person treats a woman from how he treats his mother. I wonder why it's not thought of this way: you can tell alot about a person's mother from how he treats other women. I hope this explains my own issues with guilt, trust, and hope. My mother isn't happy with me and who i have become, I've put humanism over religion, I've put hope and desire over the safe path that they took to raise me, I've decided traditional things aren't for me. This kills her, but I still love her, and hope she can move on. I think my dad has and I think he's happier for it.
[49] {:no} I say "no" alot. I firmly believe that once you find someone special, you forget about all the times you were rebuffed (and all the times you did the rebuffing).
[50] {:soulmate} I would never claim to be someone's soul mate.
* You never know when someone or something static in your life can become dynamic... or become destructive.
* This was the whole reason I started this project 8 years ago. My love of my life at the time claimed to be my soulmate, dumped me, and wrote a list of 50 reasons why we couldn't work out. I think it ate me alive until I wrote this piece. And every time I am having a really hard time in life, I come back to this thing, and it helps me get out of a funk. [2014]
